Fat Beach Island

i discovered two key new things to put in my fat face during my recent trip to long beach island. these are available at "the plantation" expensive restaurant and "scojo's" not-that-expensive breakfast zone, both located near surf city on LB Blvd. you should probably go get them either right now or tomorrow.

#1. "jamaican banana bread ice cream sandwich."
pretty self-explanatory dessert. two slices of the most delicious dense-ass banana bread i ever tasted in my whole garbage life, with a scoop of perfectly softened praline ice cream in the middle. chocolate sauce on top. ruled. A +

#2. "crabby eggs."
i know that sounds sick, but trust me. crabby eggs has reshaped the history of breakfast. me and my sister split one, but in its original state, crabby eggs was two giant crab cakes, each topped with a poached egg and covered in hollandaise sauce. kind of like eggs benedict, except eggs benedict can pretty much suck crabby eggs' crabby dick. this came with an orange slice, a strawberry, two pieces of good toast, and the awesomest version of hash browns i ever had. they were seasoned with something old bayish, so they went awesome with crab, and made it less weird to eat seafood with coffee. waitress totally gave us two plates, and accidentally burned herself on something, so extra credit for that. A + +